Monthly Archives: October 2018

Words That Haunt, Part Three

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The last of a three-part series.

How many times have you heard someone say, “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it?”
This is true, you have to be careful with your tone or you can wind up sounding sarcastic.

This is my brother, Rich, along with his daughter.  He often gets himself in trouble for the way he says things. He lived with my sister for a short time during his college years. One morning he came downstairs when my sister was having her coffee, wearing a cozy new bathrobe. Rich looks at her and says in a sarcastic tone,  “Nice robe, Pat”.
“What? You don’t like it?”
“What do you mean, I said it was nice.”

One evening, she made a particularly delicious chicken dinner. Rich said to her, “This chicken is really good.”
“Thanks, do you want some more?”
“I didn’t say I liked it THAT much.”

We call these things Richisms. Continue reading Words That Haunt, Part Three →

Words That Haunt, Part Two

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The second of a three-part series.  Check out part one!

Words that haunt are often those spoken in the heat of the moment.

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)

My husband is good with the gentle answer part. Me? Not so much. I get my feathers ruffled a bit too easily. I am prone to fly off the handle when angry, saying things I often regret later.

James 1:19 says, “Take note of this. Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.”

It’s not always easy to exercise self-control, but if we spend more time listening, we might understand what’s actually happening, rather than jumping to conclusions.

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”
Proverbs 16:24 (NIV)

Oh boy, I fail with that one. A good goal though. I do think I need to try harder.

The thing about anger is, it seldom accomplishes anything, except maybe to push away the person you are hollering at.  The words you are spouting out get lost in the air as the target of your anger shuts down. If you’re screaming, the other person begins to feel justified to turn away and ignore everything you are saying. So instead of communicating, an impasse is created. Mission not accomplished! Better to maintain control and speak in a respectful voice, difficult as that may be in the moment.

And then there’s this: Continue reading Words That Haunt, Part Two →

Words That Haunt, Part One

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From the song “Words”, by Hawk Nelson:

They’ve made me feel like a prisoner
They’ve made me feel set free
They’ve made me feel like a criminal
Made me feel like a king
They’ve lifted my heart
To places I’ve never been
And they’ve dragged me down
Back to where I began
Words can build you up
Words can break you down
Start a fire in your heart or
Put it out
Let my words be life
Let my words be truth
I don’t wanna say a word
Unless it points the world back to You

Words can haunt in many ways…


This is  me, the summer after 4th grade, when I was about 10. My cousin and I would each spend two weeks at the other’s house during summer vacation. One day, some neighborhood kids were over playing with us in her back yard. I overheard one of the girls whisper to another, as she looked my way, “Who is that girl over there, what’s her name? She’s really pretty.”

I felt so happy when I heard that. No one had ever said I was pretty before. Later in the day, I asked my cousin who she was, and every time I was there, I looked for her. You see, she made me feel good about myself, so I wanted to be around her.

Words that haunt, in a good way. Continue reading Words That Haunt, Part One →