Do you fear death?  Do you experience anxiety over what may happen to you in your final days? If so, you are not alone.

I encounter many patients on my job who are afraid to die. I feel badly for them. Many  are facing long term illnesses, where they’ve been fighting to get better for quite some time. Others have been hit suddenly with news that they are terminal, without even a clue until they were in the end stages of the disease. Sometimes they only have a very short time left.

Many are in shock, and state they’ve never been in a hospital in their entire life and just can’t understand what happened.

Truth be told, I’ve been afraid of dying since I was a young girl. Maybe it was because of the house fire we had. This fear intensified when my second pregnancy resulted in a stillbirth. My body felt like the giver of a death sentence, rather than a giver of life. I knew then that there are no guarantees in this world, and all could be taken away in a flash.

In recent years, I’ve come to better terms with my mortality, but still have my moments. As a Christian, I’ve berated myself for this. After all, if I believe in Jesus, don’t I also believe I’m going to heaven when my days on earth are through? What’s all this fear about, anyway? Do I not take God at his word? Maybe I don’t truly believe what I say I do. Am I a hypocrite?

Relief came when I thought about Jesus, and the time leading up to his crucifixion. It seems to me he was terrified of what was ahead. We are told in Luke 22:44 that his sweat was like drops of blood, as he prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane. You might question whether this is merely a simile, or an actual fact that he sweat blood. Or if it is even possible or just an exaggeration to make a point.

It is possible.  There is a condition called hematidrosis. You can read more about it here:  Hematidrosis (Sweating Blood): Causes and Treatment (healthline.com)    

In cases of severe fear or stress, tiny capillaries can burst and cause blood to exit the body through the sweat glands. Jesus must have been feeling intense fear at the time for this to happen.

He knew the ending to this part of his journey. It wouldn’t end with the tomb. He knew he would be raised from the dead and seated at the right hand of God. After he fulfilled his ministry and mission, he would return to his heavenly father.

In spite of this, he was afraid.  If Jesus was afraid, why would I think I shouldn’t be? He asked God to take it away from him. Yet he agreed to do whatever God’s will was.  He prayed his way through it, even as he was fearful.

Hebrews 4:15 says, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are-yet he did not sin.”

Then this:

“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16 NIV)

He understands everything. He became human so he could experience things as we do. He sympathizes. He can empathize. He knows. He’s been there.

It’s not likely we will have to suffer as much as he did, but he suffered the worst, even as he gave us his best.

When we truly trust the Father like Jesus did the night before his crucifixion, there is nothing we can’t get through. Pray through and in spite of your fears, to the one who can help.

~Carolyn

**I recognize that I am not a Bible scholar, and there are many opinions about Luke 22:44. I am expressing my perspective in the hopes it may help you too.

“Life isn’t easy. Together we can make it better.”